Freedom Never Felt So Good!

Today is the first day of spring I was able to get outside and go for a walk. I waited all winter for the weather to get warmer. Finally when the weather decided to cooperate, I had to have foot surgery. I have been cooped up in the house for three weeks allowed to do nothing but look out the window at others enjoying spring.

Last week I was told that this week I could resume going for walks. I think my husband was looking out for me from heaven because he sent perfect weather my way. Today it was a sunny 72 degrees with a nice breeze off the lake.

After working at home all day, I decided to take both dogs for a walk. This was our first walk in the nice weather. We walked 2  1/2 miles around a park right by my house. The sunset on my blog was taken from the park last summer. Today was beautiful. People were out walking and bike riding and even skate boarding. The park was full of kids practicing baseball and softball in anticipation of the season starting this weekend. A few fisherman were out trying to get a jump on the season.  There was even a guy wind surfing on the lake.  The ducks, geese and seagulls were all out and enjoying the nice weather.

Tomorrow it is supposed to be 82 and sunny. I am going into the office tomorrow and then coming home and cutting the grass. After this is done I will be walking the dogs again. I can’t wait to get out and enjoy nature at its best. I plan on spending every day this summer possible in the park getting exercise and enjoying my nightly sunsets that I have missed so much. The only thing that could make it better is if I had someone to share it with. Maybe one day……..




A Few Good Men

I wrote a post a few weeks ago about men being “Shallow Hals”. When I wrote it I was trying to vent about how frustrating it is that so many men are just taking looks into consideration and not the total package. I was very negative in that post and made it seem like there are no good guys out there. This post hurt someone I care about and for that I am truly sorry. Let me explain my story.

There is a guy that I have been talking to for over 6 months that is truly a gem. He has all of the qualifications I had listed in my previous post. He is not drawn to a person based on looks but rather by what is in the person’s heart and soul. He likes me for the true person I am inside and out. He doesn’t care that I might only be a 5 or 6 on the outside because when he adds the beauty he sees inside me I become a 9.  I have never mentioned him before because I have never met him face to face and was waiting until I did so to tell everyone about him. We are currently separated by many miles and this is very hard on both of us. We have been talking almost daily on the computer and have become very close.

When I said I do not want a long distance relationship, I meant it. This does not mean that I am giving up on him though. I know that one day in the near future he will fix it so that we are not apart. I am willing to wait for that day. When you find someone who is special  you need to hold on to them. I know some of the wording in my “Shallow Hal” post might have come off like an add for dating. This was not my intention at all. I was trying to express how hard it is to find a good man. I know they are out there but they are few and far between.

I am not on this blog to find a man. I am here to meet with people who can relate to my life and what I am going through being a widow. Living alone it is good to get my feelings and thoughts out and sharing with others. It is also much cheaper than therapy!

I know there are good men out there. My “Sexy Amorous Man” is just one example.

My Daughter…..The Graduate!

Vincennes University

Vincennes University (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Here is a picture of my daughter today on her graduation day. She graduated from Vincennes University with dual Associate degrees in Culinary Arts and Restaurant Management. I have talked about her on my blog before and I just wanted my friends to see who I am talking about.  I am very proud of her today and always. She will be the topic of a post I plan to do later in the week. The four and a half hour drive to see her graduate was well worth it. Her father and husband couldn’t be here to see her graduate but I was there along with her grandmother and two of her aunts. My daughter is truly growing up!

Finally…I had a great day!

I thought it was time to share some good news in my life for a change. I have to tell you about my Thursday. The day started out for me with an appointment to my foot doctor. This went very well. I was able to get my stitches out. It hurt like hell, but I am so glad to be able to get my foot wet and wear my own shoes! I was also told I could drive short distances. Considering I have been confined to the house for the last three weeks, this news was a blessing. I will never take my mobility for granted ever again.

After the doctor, I went to work. I have only been going in once a week per doctor’s orders. It was nice to get out and be around people. I was able to clear up all the problems that were waiting for me. It felt good to clean up my paperwork. The doctor said I can go back to work in two weeks. It looks like I will be at work for eight days before my next surgery. I am so grateful to my company for supporting me in working from home.

I also made an exciting purchase yesterday. I am now the proud owner of a 2000 Palomino Mustang pop up camper. My sister-in-law heard about it through a friend. She knew I was looking for a camper with a very limited budget. When she heard it was for sale for only $500 she thought of me right away. My sister-in-law is the one who got me started in camping. She knows her trailers so much better than I do. Especially with my recent foot surgery, I asked my sister-in-law to take a look at it for me and give me her opinion. She went to look at it yesterday and called me to say it is worth way more than the $500 they are asking. The only problem was that they wanted her to take it right now. I told her to bring it to my mom’s garage where I will be keeping it and I would give her the money. My mom has a two and a half car garage and the camper pretty much fills it up. It is 14 feet long! Listen to all the camper has to offer! It is air-conditioned, sleeps 8 with a king size bed, queen size bed and two couches that make into beds. It has a refrigerator, three burner inside/outside stove-top, sink, two dinettes one of them U-shaped, a large outside storage box, plenty of counter and cabinet space. It also has a cabinet that stores a portable toilet! I cannot tell you how anxious we are for our first camping date in July. I have to get a tow package installed on my Lexus but that is a small price to pay.  We are so looking forward to camping at the Indiana Dunes with the two dogs. It will truly be a family affair.

I am writing this from a hotel room in Vincennes, Indiana. I cam to town to watch my beautiful daughter graduate college. The four and a half hour drive was well worth it to see the look of pure love on my daughter’s face when I got to town.  She knows I hate car rides more than anything and with my foot problems it was a real fun experience. NOT! It doesn’t seem like it has been three years since I brought my daughter down here for the first time. She has worked extremely hard and will be getting dual Associate degrees in Culinary Arts/Restaurant Management. I know she wishes her dad was here to see this.  I have told her he is watching from heaven. I will be in the crowd proudly watching my now grown daughter complete another phase of her life. This has been a great couple of days. I think it is about time that I have things go right for me. Hopefully this is a sign of good things to come….





My bird feeding station



This is my new bird feeding station. If I have to be in the house for the next two months, I might as well have some way to keep in touch with nature. I know it is not fancy, but I hope it will attract hungry birds anyway. It is nice to be able to look out the window and see signs of spring. Maybe soon I will be able to sit outside for short periods of time.

Thank God It’s Friday

This has been a week of ups and downs. Yesterday with all the rain in Chicago my basement flooded. This was made worse by the fact that I could do nothing about it because of my recent foot surgery. All of my kids wedding and shower gifts are in the basement. Luckily the majority of them are on shelves . It is hard to express the feeling of helplessness one feels when you know your possessions may be destroyed but there is nothing you can do. It is times like this that I really hate being alone.

My week was not all bad though. Today I went to the foot doctor and he said my foot is doing well. He is leaving the stitches in for another week as a precaution. I should be able to get back to work by May 15th or so. I went in to work on Wednesday thanks to the kindness of one of my co-workers. It was so nice to get out of the house.

My kids came home tonight which makes me very happy. I not only get to see them and spend time with them, for a few days I will not be alone. My daughter helped me vacuum most of the water out of the basement. I think we will have to go buy a dehumidifier to really dry it out good and prevent mold. In only eight days my daughter will be graduating college. I was looking forward to having her home at least for the summer. As luck would have it, she might have a job at Vincennes. This is a good thing except for the fact that they want her to work the summer. She has to come home to take care of me for my next surgery. After I am released she will probably be leaving. I realize she is 21 and married and needs to start her own life. It is hard to know that her leaving for good will mean once again I will be alone.

I know many people look forward to the weekend for many different reasons.  I am looking forward to this one because I get to spend it with my kids. We have a lot of stuff to do to plan for me to be alone for two weeks at home. My fridge is bare, so we will definitely be going grocery shopping. Laundry also needs to be done and the house cleaned. I will be doing some work over the weekend also.

I know I have much to be thankful for in life. I sometimes start feeling sorry for myself and I have to realize there is always someone who has it worse than me. I am grateful for my relatively good health, terrific family and of course the weekend.

No More “Shallow Hals” Please……..

My husband died over two years ago. I mourned his death and came to terms with it after a year.  So for the last year I have been trying to start a new chapter in my life. I can’t tell you how weird it feels that my daughter is married and here I don’t even have a boyfriend.

I tried internet dating for a while and that was a disaster. I know I am not beautiful and that I am just average looking. Most guys are looking for outer beauty and physically fit. Hence I say the “Shallow Hals”. Last year I lost 80 pounds through eating healthy and a combination of walking and bike riding. After getting sick around Thanksgiving and not being able to exercise, I have gained 20 pounds back. I now have 45 pounds that I want to lose. This is going to be an uphill battle for me because I am not going to be able to exercise for a while. It will be mid-June before I can get out and walk and ride my bike like I want to.

Here is the problem I have with men right now. Most men want  a woman who is at least an eight. I know that there are men out there that are saying you are wrong. I am just saying what has been my experience. I consider myself a 5 or 6 realistically. However if you take my personality, heart and inner beauty into consideration, I think I become a 9. Now most guys will take one look at me and never give me the chance to show them my inner beauty. I am shy when I first get to know someone. I think some people see me as stuck up because of this when in reality I am just not used to talking to men.

I am a proud catholic and I take my faith very seriously. I can’t tell you how many guys this has turned off. Almost all the guys on the internet dating sites claim to be catholic but when it comes down to it they are not practicing. Family is the most important thing to me. Losing my husband has taught me if nothing else that life is a gift and not a given. I try to make each day count. My daughter is married and 21 and yet I have a very special relationship with her. We tell each other I Love You everyday and we are always very affectionate. Most of my co-workers and friends have kids her age that will show them no affection especially in public. I consider myself honored to have such a special daughter.  My mom is also very special in my life. She is suffering from early Alzheimer’s and needs my help sometimes. Men claim that family is important to them, but when it comes down to it they do not show it.  I have lost more than one guy because they didn’t like my daughter or her involvement in my life. Any man who wants to date me has to understand that I come with baggage in the form of my daughter, son-in-law, mom and of course our two dogs.

I don’t think my list of must haves is unreasonable or too long considering I am looking for a lifetime partner and not just someone to have fun with. I am looking for a catholic, family oriented, honest, faithful, hard-working, reliable, affectionate, romantic, easy-going man. I love music and sports. I do not like party boys or playboys. At my age I want someone who want to settle down and not add another notch to their belt. I almost forgot one of the most important things. He has to live somewhat close to me. I live just outside of Chicago but in Indiana. I DO NOT want someone in California or Florida or God forbid another country. Been there done that, it doesn’t work.   I do not want a long distance anything. I want to see and be able to touch the person who will become my boyfriend.

I know this post is coming off like a dating site profile. That is not the purpose of this message though. I am just trying to vent some of my dating or lack of dating experience for other to read. If anyone knows a “good” guy who meets all my criteria, let me know.  I have read other women’s sites who are widows and are going through the same thing I am. If anyone has feedback for me, please send me a comment. I want to hear what the blogging world has to say. Even men, let me know what you think about what I have written. Don’t be afraid, I can take it!