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Starting Over at 45….

I can honestly say I never pictured myself starting my life over at 45. But that is exactly what I am doing! Let me explain.

It has now been just over 2.5 years since my husband died. We were married for 22 years and 2 months to the day when he died. I swear he did that on purpose because he loved the number 2. He was sick for over 2 years before he died, so his death did not come as a surprise. It was almost a blessing to know that his suffering would be over. We came to peace with everything before he died so there was no unfinished business.

We had one daughter in our marriage. She is almost 22 years old and moved out of my house for good with her husband last month. I hated to see her leave, but at the same time I knew it was time to start her life with her husband. They had to leave their dog with me for another year because where my boy goes to school they can’t get an apartment that allows dogs. Next year they will move and take her with them. I love having her because she keeps my dog company.

Since I have the two dogs, I am not technically alone. I just do not live with any humans. I am at a point in my life now that I am alone and the kids are gone that I need to figure out what I want to do. I have spent the last two years figuring out who I am and what I want out of life.

I have devoted much energy toward my job. I love being a quality accountant. The responsibility I am given makes the job challenging yet extremely rewarding. The fact that I love numbers only makes thing better. I work long hours but it doesn’t bother me because it keeps me from dwelling on being alone.

My husband expressed a wish before he died that after a while I find someone to share my life with. He knew I was too young to be alone the rest of my life. I have been talking to a great guy for almost a year. We have yet to meet in person because he lives in a different part of the country. We have connected on a level only two mature adults can reach. We look forward to the day when we will meet. He has expressed an interest to move to Indiana so he can be with me. For now we take things one day at a time. We know that everything happens for a reason and if we are meant to be together it will happen.

Other than hating being alone, I am content with my life. My future will be what I make of it.  I look at it as I am being given a second chance at life and I had better not waste it. I will always love and take care of my kids as long as I am able.  I will continue to strive to be an excellent employee and someone my company can be proud of. I might be a dreamer but I am hoping for a happily ever after in my future….




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