What a Crazy Three Weeks!

My daughter came home from college on May 1st and my life has been crazy ever since. All her stuff literally took over my dining room. I didn’t know one girl could have so much stuff. She was barely home when my computer crashed. I never realized how much I depend on my computer until I didn’t have one for over a week. Trying to work at home was bad enough, there was no way for me to do anything social on my work computer. I guess I am much more attached to my computer than I thought.

By the time my computer got fixed my boy was home with all of his stuff. Luckily he does not have much stuff or I would have had to move out! It took us over a week to go through all my daughter’s things and sort them out. We took some stuff to grandma’s house to be stored and the rest we put in the basement. I also wanted to set up my camper once before my surgery to put some stuff in it and let some of the family see it. Everyone was impressed by how good I parked the camper and set it up without too much effort.  I need to be able to handle things by myself so I do not know what the big deal was all about. Above all I do not want to wreck my camper or my SUV, so for me it was a no-brainer, be careful!

I barely got my house and affairs in order when it was time for my surgery. On May 21 I checked in to the University of Chicago at 6am. My surgery was supposed to last between 3 and 4 hours unless there were complications. I was in surgery for a total of 8 hours! The doctor said there were plenty of complications but that now I am all fixed. I am going to have a long recovery time. For the next month I can lift nothing heavier than 10 pounds and I am to rest as much as possible. I will be working from home once again which is fine with me. My dog sprained her back leg a few days before my surgery and cannot get up on the couch or bed by herself. My kids have to pick her up every time we move from room to room. Both dogs know something is wrong with me and my dog has not left my side since I got home.  I hate the feeling of having to depend on someone for almost everything. My daughter has really stepped up and taken over my care. My medicine schedule alone is enough to set your head spinning.

I have not been keeping up with my fellow bloggers since the beginning of the month. I plan on starting where I left off and catch up on everything.  I know some of my friends here have been posting regularly and look forward to catching up. Please do not be offended if I am commenting on an old post, it is new to me. I want to thank all my friends for their prayers and well wishes. I look forward to a full recovery and can’t wait to get back in the swing of things.  I am taking one day at a time and I have faith that in the end it will all turn out OK.








I Got To Leave The House…….

I know there are many people out there who dread going to work everyday. Fortunately I am not one of them. I absolutely love my job and the people I work with. Knowing I am appreciated and cared about by both my bosses and fellow workers makes a big difference.

As most of you know, I had foot surgery last week. I now have to work at home for the next 10 weeks or so. This is working out well considering I get almost all my work emailed to me anyway. Many people would consider working at home a dream come true. I am not going to lie, I do love it. There is one very important thing that I really miss, my co-workers and interacting with people.  I live alone with my two dogs. Now don’t get me wrong the dogs are great company but they are no match for human interaction. My blog has helped me connect with people and has been a godsend. I look forward to the daily posts and talking with fellow bloggers. The true human contact and interaction is what I miss.

Well yesterday two of my co-workers went out of their way and came and picked me up for work. I cannot tell you how good it felt to get out of the house! It made it especially nice that my co-workers were genuinely happy to see me! 🙂 Just sitting at my desk in the middle of a big room full of accounting people made me feel so much better. I can’t describe how much it means to know that my company is 100% behind me in my recovery. We decided I will go into work once a week. This way we can trade paperwork and I can get out of the house! I brought a ton of paperwork home to match up and go through but that is OK because I got out of the house.

Tomorrow my sister-in-law is picking me up to go to the movies in town. I am so looking forward to seeing the movie “The Call”. My daughter is actually envious that I am going. I will never take mobility for granted since this is the fourth foot surgery for me. You really learn who your true friends are when you need help. I am grateful to all my family and friends for their prayers and well wishes.  I am actually looking forward to Wednesday when I will get to go back into work. Am I crazy?  Maybe, but hey at least I get to get out of the house!

When One Week Turns Into Six…

I have stated in previous posts that I had foot surgery this week. I thought I was going to be off work for a week. Well I just went to the first follow-up appointment and it turns out I will be off for not one but six weeks.

The doctor said although it looks like the growth removed is not cancer, I still need to give it adequate time to heal properly. He told me today that I am not allowed to drive for about six weeks. The fact that the growth was on the bottom of my driving foot plays a big part in this. My doctor would rather go the cautious route and be sure I am properly healed before getting back to my normal life.

Now I just have to explain to my boss that I will be off much longer than anticipated. I am hoping that my ability to work from home will be in my favor. This longer recovery period will mean that my two surgeries will overlap. I think this will be a good thing because when I do come back I will be back for good. I hope my bosses see it this way also. So much in life is unpredictable I have learned one has to go with the flow. You can only plan so much but in the end it is God that determines what will ultimately happen.


Being Alone ….Takes Planning

I have written in previous posts that I live alone.  This is not by choice but it is where I am in life. My kids will be home next month from college for the summer. Normally be alone is no big deal, just very lonely at time.  This week, however I had to have foot surgery.  The surgery went well and now I am just waiting on the biopsy results. I have to be off my feet for at least a week. I will be working from home.

Preparing to come home after surgery to nothing but my two loving dogs takes quite a bit of planning.  I cannot leave the house and I need everything in order to get by for the week. I started out my planning by making sure that me and the dogs would have plenty of food for the week. I did an extensive grocery shopping last weekend. My daughter will be home this weekend and can pick up any groceries I might have forgotten or will be needing. I also had to plan meals for myself since I am not allowed to be up for more than 5 minutes at a time.  I decided to make two of my favorite meals to eat during my recuperation. I cooked up two kinds of fish tilapia and basa. My daughter and I absolutely love fish. I also made my favorite chicken Marsala. This way when it is time to eat all I have to do is heat them in the microwave. I had to make sure I also had plenty of dog food and treats on hand. The dogs are going through the treats like water so I think my daughter will end up having to buy some more. I readily admit I spoil the dogs like crazy.

I also had to make sure the house was cleaned and the laundry done. My daughter will be doing my laundry this weekend. When the kids come home for the weekend I am sure the house will be a mess. They bring enough stuff for two days to make it look like they are staying for a week! I had the foresight to get the medicine I will be needing for after surgery before the surgery. Once I was dropped off yesterday I am home-bound and on my own.

Getting everything work related ready to work from home was a challenging task. I had to make sure I didn’t forget any of my paperwork at the office. I am now relying only on email to do my job. Since I am the only one at my work that does my job it is hard to be away for long. I am a quality accountant and it really needs to be a one person job. I must have total control of all testing and results. No steel is allowed to be shipped out of the three plants I control without my OK. Within an hour after coming home from the surgery center yesterday, I was already doing work from home. For me working is a form of therapy. It requires total concentration and no mistakes are allowed. People’s lives are depending on me to get my job right. I am looking forward to working at home with my dogs and in my pajamas.

Many of the things I have had to plan would not be necessary if I did not live alone. It just goes to show that although some might think it is easier to be alone it is not always the case.

Loneliness……Am I Ever Truly Alone?

A few years ago when I found out my husband was sick, I knew that one day I would be alone.  I had been alone many times in my life and I knew I could survive  the loneliness.  Or so I thought.  Growing up I was an only child.  My parents had me in their mid to late thirties.  I spent a good part of my childhood alone.  While my parents loved me with all their heart, they were not one to encourage me having friends over.  I was the kid who could be your friend at school but after school there was no play dates or God forbid sleepovers.  I spent a great deal of time in my room alone as a child.  This was fine for me since I didn’t know any other way.

I got married at the age of twenty and when I was twenty-three had a beautiful baby girl.  She is my only biological child. I was an only child so I thought nothing of having only one child.  My husband came from a family of eight and all they did was fight.  My daughter says that sometimes she wishes she had a sibling, but most of the time no way.  If she had a sibling it would mean she would have to share.  My daughter and I share a very close special bond.  She is now twenty-one and married, but we are still very close.  She says she definitely wants more than one child.  She wants her kids to be able to share the bond of siblings.

I am a practicing catholic and I truly believe in angels. I feel when the people you love die they are given the power to watch over you so to speak.  I know of many instances where a person could have been severely hurt or even died but didn’t because of a minor miracle.  I think the miracle comes in the form of an angel.  I will give you a couple of examples.  When my daughter was one, my husband was in a terrible car accident while deer hunting.  Looking at the damaged van, one would wonder how did he ever survive.  I think his mother in the form of an angel saved his life on that rainy night.  By doing this he was able to raise our daughter for another 18 years.  Her life would have been vastly different if he had died on that fateful night. A couple of years ago on her way home from college, my daughter was in a terrible car accident.  Her car crossed all lanes of traffic and flipped over five times. She survived the crash with only bad scrapes and bruises.  She told me later that night that she felt someone’s arms come around her and hold her from the start of the accident.  To this day, both of us believe those arms belonged to her father who had died eight months before.

You can call me crazy if you want but I think each of us has one or more of our own angels looking out for us everyday.  Now that is not to say that bad things still don’t happen.  I just think that we are sometimes given second chances from a higher being. I have been feeling lonelier than usual lately.  There have been many things I have had to deal with lately alone.  My mother is fighting early Alzheimer’s disease and it is challenging to keep an eye on her. My daughter and son-in-law will be coming home from college soon and need to make plans for next year. I am trying to help them decide what is best for them.  I also found out in the last couple of weeks that I will be needing two surgeries in the next couple of months. My first surgery is a foot surgery involving a lump that has a 50% chance of being cancer. Now the possibility is scary for anyone, but considering I will be alone to recover after the surgery is especially daunting. I am not looking for sympathy at all.  I am trying to point out that there are certain times that loneliness seems more pronounced. For my second surgery, a follow-up to a hysterectomy, I am waiting until the kids come home because the recovery period will be longer and more extensive.

I live alone not by choice but because that is how things happened.  My kids are home when there are breaks from college.  All other times it is just me and our two dogs.  Most of the time I am so busy that I don’t mind being alone too much. But it is hard to be alone in times of crisis and pain.  I know my dad and my husband will look out for me. I am not so scared about my upcoming surgery as I am about being alone afterward. Being an invalid gives one a good amount of time to think. I know firsthand as this will be my fourth foot surgery. I am wondering , however, if I am really going to be alone. Or will my guardian angels be there with me very step of the way to help me feel like I am not alone.

So Much Can Change in a Week…

It doesn’t seem like a week since my kids left to go back to school.  So much has happened in our lives in just this short amount of time.  Monday was normal for all of us.  I had work and the kids had school nothing different there.

Then along comes Tuesday.  I had to attend an offsite training for my work.  I have never done this before and it was a nice change to break up my work week. I talked to my daughter at lunch she had an all day cooking lab and was doing well. Mid-afternoon my cell phone rang.  It was my daughter and she knew I was in training so it must be very important. I went in the hall to take the call.  My daughter had just found out that her husband was no longer being deployed to Africa in June.   She was crying so much I almost didn’t understand the news. I asked her why she was crying and she said she is still in shock and is scared of what their lives will hold next.  They were counting on the money that my son-in-law would make while deployed to help them start a new life together when he returned. I told her not to worry that we will figure something out and to just be happy that he will be with her.

Wednesday and Thursday were very busy days for all of us.  My daughter is now very happy that her husband will be there for her graduation and their one year wedding anniversary. She had her senior luncheon at school and she was given an award for most outstanding student in the Restaurant Management program.  I am very proud of her, she has come a long way. They also got my son-in-law signed up for classes next year so he can get his degree in December.  Now all we have to do is find them an apartment at school that accepts dogs.  My daughter is also checking into possible employment for the fall semester.

I had a checkup at the doctor on Thursday night.  During the checkup, I was told I would need to see a foot specialist for a lump on the bottom of my foot.  I have a foot doctor that I love that has done surgery on me before.  I had an appointment with him today and he told me I will have to have the lump surgically removed. I have scheduled the surgery and now I have to go into work Monday and tell them that I am having surgery and will be out of work for at least a week. They are really going to love me.  At least I will be able to work from home.

This week held many changes for my family. Some good..some not so good.  We have to accept whatever happens and learn to deal with it.  Who knows maybe next week will make this week seem like a piece of cake.  Stay tuned….